Well, we can now say we have DONE the Hermitage and, I have to say, it wasn’t half bad. That is - the lines, the crowds, the waits were not near as bad as I had dreaded given that we are visiting smack in the middle of the summer high season with cruise ships funneling platoon boats worth of tourists into pre-booked tours. The art, of course, was glorious.

Everyone and every guide book stresses the importance of getting there early, preferably, if you could manage it, with a private guide who can sneak you in before the museum actually opens to the hoi polloi.  But since I had no concierge to organize a secrete tour I decided to take the opposite tack.  After all, if everybody was listening to that advice there would be a huge bottle neck when the museum opened and just a little trickle at the entrance later on, right?  This would also allow us to fuel up with a picnic right before going in (hugely important - one might also need to top up with chocolate cake after leaving the museum).

Unfortunately when we strolled up at 1 pm there was still a gigantic line at the door.  It would be at least an hour or more’s wait.  Which is when I discovered something very strange.  I had noticed something that looked like a ticket kiosk just behind the loooong line of people waiting to buy tickets at the door.  I went over to check and indeed it was a place to buy tickets and appeared to be completely functional but nobody was using it.  Eh, what the heck.  I put in my money and out popped a ticket!  I took the girls hands and resolutely walked to the head of the loooong line and handed my ticket to the guard who glanced at it and nodded me through the door.  What was wrong with those other people!?  Had that kiosk just popped into place behind them without their noticing?  I had even bought the voucher that allowed taking photos!  Something which, by the way, is completely unnecessary since Leontine, Miriam and I were all snapping away like insane turtles and nobody ever asked to check our permit (do make sure you turn off the flash however or you will get a right bollocking). 

It was so easy that when we found out that Catherine the Great’s amazing mechanical peacock is wound up and fans out its tail once a week on a Wednesday at 7 pm the girls actually agreed to go again. And this is when we discovered the real trick - go on Wednesdays!  The museum is open until 9 pm and this time when we arrived at 4 there was literally nobody at the entrance. So we bought our tickets at the regular cash desk, this time getting the required tickets for the girls.  Kids under 17 are free but supposedly need their own paper tickets for the turnstiles to scan, not that it mattered yesterday when we all squeezed through on my one ticket (though “maybe” the guard was distracted while talking to a friend?). 

The worst time to go is between 12 -2 pm which is when the museum guides lead their huge caravans of people, the Russian tourists crashing into the english tourists, crashing into the Japanese ones, etc. We just caught the end of this period and it was amazing how much the museum cleared out afterwards. I was not impressed by the bits I overheard either, though I was by some of the private guides so that probably is worth doing if you are truly interested in learning about art history. There is a new thing where each person is given individual ear pieces and the guide speaks into a headpiece to everybody via wireless (I think? non techno geek here).  On the one hand this means the guide no longer has to shout and each person can hear her lecture perfectly (I assume since we never joined any of the groups).  On the other hand it means even more crowds can jostle up against each other since they don't have to worry about shouting.

It is enough just to absorb the spectacular art and be amazed.  I insisted on taking photos of the girls in front of the Leonardo, the Rembrandt, the Greco, the Picasso and the Matisse because when they are studying these exact paintings in college (and I know they will!) they will be able to prove to their teacher that they did in fact see them in the flesh. 

And, really, two days was plenty of time.  The first day we stayed almost 4 hours and saw most of the art highlights - from the Italian renaissance to the French impressionists via the Dutch and Flemish masters.  The next day we were there roughly 3 hours and this time saw the palace rooms.  We also had time to go back and visit with the big guns like Michelangelo and Raphael, this time with nobody else in the room but us. 

At 6:30 we moved into the Peacock Pavillion and found a spot.  Good thing too because by 7 pm every other person in the building had come to see the show. This Peacock automaton was made by t the Englishman James Cox, the most celebrated Clock maker of all time. And furthermore it is the only large 18th century mechanism to have survived unaltered and in a functioning condition.  One reason it is only wound up once a week is to spare its two hundred year old gears.  As I said to the girls, imagine being the person winding that clock and hearing a “clunk!”. Fortunately, it went off without a hitch - the peacock spread its tail, the owl turned in its cage, the rooster crowed his heart out and the crowd oohed and aahed. 

Well, having done the Hermitage (twice!), it was time for BUMPER CARS!


The girls definitely deserved some kid time so we spent one entire day at the Divo Ostrov Amusement Park. I do believe they have covered that day in their blogs.  Personally I just like any amusement park - with roller coasters - that you can reach via a metro.

Can I just say, I truly admire the Russian women's ability to maneuver on 6 inch heels and I have seen them do so on cobblestones, metro escalators, in grocery stores and museums and more without tottering or limping.  But really, is there no place to draw the line?  Are these really the shoes you choose for day at an amusement park!?

Tallinn is the capital of Estonia and it also happens to be a Unesco World Monument.  At least the Old town is - one of the best examples of a Medieval fortified town to be found in Europe. Still bounded by its original city walls, this section has been given over completely to history with maidens dressed in 11th century garb selling you drinks or souvenirs. 

All of which is wonderful if you happen to have a history buff on your hands who will appreciate the original pulleys on the front of houses used to winch up items for storage.  Or maybe a teenager who would like to visit the House of Blackheads (an unfortunately named medieval guild for bachelor and/or visiting craftsmen).

Speaking of names, it takes an older child to grasp the absurd title of one of the town's oldest medieval towers - Kiek in de Kok.  One would think that a translation would confer dignity but it seems to be old German for "Peeking in the Windows" since bored soldiers could amuse themselves by looking into the town houses below them.  I'm sure the neighboring maidens appreciated that.  

However, Tallinn offers much more than pretty houses and cobblestone streets for kids.  It is a small and very doable town where even the smallest legs can walk from site to site. Here are 10 tips to make it even easier.

1. Rent an apartment instead of a hotel - you have a kitchen so you can make breakfast at 4 am if that is when jet lag wakes you up. You have your own coffee pot so you can down as many cups of coffee as it takes to get you out of the house or deal with a toddler who does not understand the concept of sleeping according to the clock outside his own body. You also have a washing machine, ‘nough said.  We rented one of the Romeo Family apartments right in Old Town so we could walk to everything and it was a great decision. Bring some eye masks though to deal with the late summer sun which hardly sets at all. 

2. Get dinner in the supermarket - Its not just a way of saving money but you can see how Estonians eat at home by shopping where they shop. There is a lot of liverwurst! There is also a spice they sprinkle on their potatoes that is quite simply addicting.  Conveniently for you, this country is famous for it’s delicious savory pastries.  These light and flakey concoctions can be cheesy, stippled with bacon or filled with vegetables but they all make a perfect light dinner or quick snack in the middle of the night when you are still turned around time wise.

3. Get outside the Old Town and see some green at Kadriorg Park. You could spend a whole day at this lovely, large green park.  It is an easy 10 minute ride on Tram #1 or 3, both of which can be found right at the edge of the Old Town. Once there, you can visit the sumptuous Kadriorg Palace, the humble cottage of Peter the Great or, if ambitious, meander through the modern art museum smack in the middle of the park.

 But you don’t even have to go into any of the attractions to make a trip here worth while. There are trees to climb, grass to picnic on, a maze to race through and rose gardens to smell. It is ideal for a small child. since there is an interactive Kids Museum complete with swinging hammocks right next to an playground filled with sand and seesaws. If you forgot to pack a lunch and are visiting after June 26 you can have lunch in a cafe next to the elegant lake.

4. Museums - For a small town, Tallinn has a huge number of museums.  I was amazed at how many my kids (10 yrs old) and our friend’s son (4 yrs old) willingly entered into. However if you want to keep it short and sweet, the two best for kids are the Museum of Occupation and the Maritime Museum.  Best to explain before hand that “occupation” in this case means invasion not jobs.  Otherwise your child will be as confused as mine was. The big draw is the recreation of shelters used by the “Forest Brothers”, Estonia’s resistance fighters during WWII.  There is one water pail hanging on a hook riddled with bullet holes, particularly tragic given than not one of these soldiers survived the Germans and then the Soviets. 

5. The Maritime Museum is simpler - just the tools of the trade for a country living on the edge of the Baltic Sea. Bryan particularly enjoyed the chance to sit and draw at a table set up for kids. We went to the old Maritime Museum right at Fat Margaret Tower (seriously, who comes up with these names!?).  There is apparently another, more modern Maritime museum down at the coast which we would definitely check out next time.

6. The Open Air Museum - The best thing about this “museum” is that is all outdoors. This is a giant park where they have brought together a bunch of houses, barns and other kinds of shelters to demonstrate the various forms of habitations found throughout Estonian history. There are people dressed in traditional clothes scattered throughout, generally engaged in some kind of traditional handicraft like embroidering cloth shoes or tatting lace. They don’t speak much English though so don’t expect them to explain much. 

As the area is quite large, it is a really good idea to rent the bikes available (5 euros for 2 hours) and use them to get around.  They have kid size as well as adults. No child seats but kids too small for their own bikes can sit on the back and hold on to mom or dad. Bring a picnic and make a day of it.  There is a cafe on hand serving traditional Estonian fare. Also horse drawn carriage rides. 

7.  Visit the Zoo - If you have the energy you can combine a visit to the Open air Museum with a trip to the Tallinn Zoo or if you have time you could split it into two days.  It is a short (15 min) walk from one to the other. This zoo is clearly trying hard to improve the grounds for their animals. There are signs saying the large animals will be moved out of their cramped, concrete enclosures soon.  They have updated the enclosures for the smaller animals however and it is amazing how close kids can get to the monkeys!  The highlight was by far the tiny marmosets, zinging from branch to branch.

8. One of the BEST things to do with kids in Tallinn is teach them how to make Marzipan figures.  It is just like molding playdough, but with sugar, how much more kid friendly can one get than that? A sweet little marzipan shop at 40 Pikk Street is set up with kid size tables set out with dough, edible paint and already made examples for kids to follow. For 3.50 euros a teacher will guide them (and you) through the process.  Our four year old made a lovely frog and the girls made a lady bug and a lion.  All of which apparently now have to make it through another 2 months of hard travel without getting squished since they are too beautiful to eat.

9. Take a toy train ride.  What little kid can resist this bright blue little train that winds around the Old Town?  What parent can resist the temptation to sit down while still seeing the sights?  Perfect combination.

10. Last but not least - if you have had enough of culture then its time to feed the ducks. There is a little park right across the road from the train station that happens to have adorable baby ducks right now, but probably always has a fairly stable population of the water birds.  Another advantage of this park is the wonderful statue of a giant sinking into the earth for a nap.